24 days......wow.

I counted today....24 days! TWENTY FOUR days until we do this wedding thing.....and I'm wondering, where has the time gone? I remember Sam taking me on that afternoon run in June when he proposed, wearing that silly fanny pack, like it was last week. Here we are, only three weeks away... and I catch myself having minor freakout moments as the reality of the fact that our lives are about to really change sets in all over again.
It's such a crazy feeling...this anticipation, nervousness, and excitement all at the same time. I hope that's how I'm suppose to feel....

Some thoughts on the obvious: Physical struggles
Disclaimer: caution...there are real personal thoughts here...but I felt like they needed to be expressed, especially after we've made our fair share of mistakes.

I have never before experienced so vividly what Paul describes in 1 Peter 2:11: "Beloved I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul." (emphasis mine) That "wage war against your soul" part is as real as the computer I'm typing on, and as frustrating as...you name it (something really frustrating). My mom has been so faithful to remind me, challenge me, that there are two kinds of pain: the pain of regret, and the pain of discipline. They are both painful, but the later pain is far less painful than the first in my book.

Only by the grace of our loving God have we made it this far in our fight for purity, and faithfully Sam and I are seeking to make it to the finish line, the alter on the Wedding Day, as living sacrifices pleasing to Him. But there's that third pain i'm dealing with: the one of waiting is still there...so much that our hearts hurt for each other. I am so thankful for a godly fiance who doesn't give in to my lame pity parties when I'm sad he'll only kiss me on the cheek. My Dad reminded me how much courage that takes, and that he's in that very special 1/10 of 1% of men: meaning very few EVER set those kind of limits. How foolish I was to complain. But being that silly, somewhat immature girl that I can be sometimes....I did, until Sam took me aside recently and said, "Stop having a pity party when everything is going great. That's ridiculous, Whit." How very smart he is.

Ironically, before I was given a good "talking to," I had been picking fights with him like crazy. I don't know if this is due to some "kind" of tension, stress, or if they are really legit... but I have really been quick to get angry...and I'm not usually like this. I've realized my focus was a little off, and that most times I'm not wanting to fight, I just want to be passionate. I feel crazy saying this...but it's true. I'm trusting that our day is soon....


God...please give us strength, give us patience. Help us long for you as we long to be with each other.
Thank you for Sam's wisdom.

-W